


lonely

by punbaekyeol



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M, Sad Taehyung, Taehyung is gay, edgy yoongi, hoseok is gay, in conclusion they are all gay, jimin is gay, jungkook is gay, jungkook??, namjoon is pan, seokjin doesnt care, soft jimin, yoongi is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-05-18 20:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14859471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punbaekyeol/pseuds/punbaekyeol
Summary: “oh wait. don’t tell me, you were watching porn?”begun; april 8





	1. Chapter 1

when i saw his eyes sparkle i knew i was in love  
__________

"taehyung trust me, i know what i'm doing," jimin insisted. "no, i swear i'm helping by doing this. this is going to be good for him and i. look, just shush, okay?" he never gave taehyung a chance to even complete his sentences.

"wait, jim-"  taehyung was once again cut off by jimin, not vocally but instead he clicked the button which indicated the call was over.

"ok, jimin! you got this." he whisper shouted to himself. he'd been eyeing the boy on the bench for a while. he just happened to spot him at the park today, just his luck!

he decided it was fate telling him to finally go and befriend him. he recognized him from school, obviously he decided to speak with him.

no, that wasn't truly the reason why he wanted to speak with the boy. at school he'd notice his attitude when he roamed the halls. he was always alone and jimin thought it wasn't right. he wanted to change that.

he should smile and laugh and be happy! jimin frowned, he realized he's never seen that from the boy with the black hair.

he always saw jungkook smile and laugh. his frown only deepened. he knew things weren't always what they appeared to be. 

he shook his head, it didn't matter. 

he sucked in a sharp breath snd slowly crept towards the lonely boy, "h-hey?" he practically choked, it wasn't even a full sentence. pathetic, he thought to himself.

thankfully, the other must have not heard him, saving him from the terrible embarrassment. so, then he tapped his shoulder. already, he felt the heat rushing to his cheeks. his breath caught in his throat once he turned around and their eyes met.

"what?" he said, his voice was monotone. he was a closed book. a completely magically sealed book that had a terribly difficult spell casted upon, too hard for jimin to solve.

for a bit, the gray haired boy was lost in thought. he realized that the boy on the bench was awaiting an answer. he averted his gaze and looked down at the grassy ground.

"um, i'm jimin." he had to force himself from stuttering. he almost immediately regretted walking up to this kid. what was he even thinking? this was a mistake, right.

he cursed himself silently for being so stubborn, he should have listened to taehyung.

right now, all jimin wanted to do was run away crying, never to look back. he bet a hundred bucks he looked like a complete idiot.

the boy's stare was so empty, it was as if he was looking right through jimin. 

jimin looked back up at him, startled at his stare. he stared back, almost forgetting that he wasn't some fragile porcelain doll.

they analyzed each other's faces for a few moments before jimin heard him mumble something.

"huh?" jimin blinked, "s-sorry i couldn't-"

it was his turn to be cut off. "yoon..gi." the raven haired boy rolled his eyes and turned away.

"oh! that's a really..." cute "nice name." he replied, forcing his silly thoughts away. his nerves were now slowly disappearing into the void.

"i..." yoongi started. he seemed to have changed his mind and started off the sentence differently, "what do you want?" his tone wasn't laced with the venom of a viper, nor did it hold the sharpness. yet, for some reason it stung jimin.

"to be friends. i want," he said, pointing at yoongi then himself, "us to he friends."

the silence that fell over them was a bit tormenting. the black haired boy had to take a few moments because he was replaying the smaller boys silly wish in his head.

still, he was quite unsure. "you what?" yoongi asked. he still couldn't seem to process jimin's words.

"let's be friends." 

jimin held out his hand for yoongi to shake and his smiled so warmly that it might even melt the ice covering yoongi's bitter heart.

yoongi carefully eyed jimin's outstretched hand and muttered, "whatever."

despite not being given a clear answer, jimin was ecstatic. he wasn't rejected, thank god! but, he wasn't exactly accepted either. still, he told himself, better than nothing, right?

oh, how badly he wanted to ask for yoongi's phone number. as if he was about to let the words slip, he bit his tongue and kept smiling.

yoongi glanced back at jimin who was still smiling, "i'll see you at school, yeah?" had said the gray haired boy.

"yeah." jimin swore he heard yoongi say as he turned around to walk away.

maybe it wasn't a mistake afterall.


	2. rooftop

i love you!

“hehe, i love you too.”  
______  
"taehyung, are you proud of me? i actually did it! i talked to him yesterday!" jimin whisper shouted.

"yeah, yeah." taehyung rolled his eyes, a soft chuckle escaped his throat. he reached his hans out and ruffled jimin's hair.

"hey! don't mess with my hair," jimin swatted his best friend's hands away.

"fine, fine."

"should i talk to him today?" jimin asked, mainly to himself but still, partly to his friend.

"maybe. actually, yeah. you go hang out with him today i'll go bother hoseok." 

"okay, love you!" jimin said in a sing-song voice.

"love you too," taehyung laughed as he walked away.

jimin searched the cafeteria, it only took him two minutes to realize where yoongi was. he recalled seeing him walk up towards the roof.

"got you now," he muttered as he quickly made his way to the stairs.

the staircase was completely abandoned. it felt so empty and hollow to jimin. he thought that maybe he would get attacked by someone despite the fact no one was there.

when he reached the final step he noticed the door was cracked open. light hardly dared to enter the passageway. he nearly tripped over the crowbar that separated the door from locking whoever resided on the roof, out.

jimin peered out and saw the gloomy clouds that hung over their city. he took in a deep breath and pushed the door open.

it let out a loud creak and followed a soft whisper. he saw yoongi's back facing the school. to jimin, he looked peaceful. he almost didn't want to go up and bother him.

he took a step closer to yoongi and noticed that he was using a laptop. yoongi lifted his head and turned around. 

their eyes met.

quickly, yoongi averted his gaze and stared at the ground beside jimin. 

jimin thought he saw yoongi's lips move but since he was unsure, he ignored it. he casually strolled over to the back haired boy and sat next to him, "whatcha doin'?"

"...why does it matter?" yoongi scoffed and he quickly shut his laptop.

"well, you're my friend and i wanna know what's up." jimin shrugged back at yoongi.

"we're not friends." he rolled his eyes. "i'm just doing stuff, it doesn't matter."

"yeah, it does." jimin protested. "oh wait, don't tell me you were watching porn?"

yoongi choked on seemingly nothing, heat rushed to his cheeks. "n-no! what would even make you say that?!" 

"you're on your laptop, alone on a roof. you closed it when i walked over and you're blushing." 

"you're stupid," yoongi huffed. "why would i even watch that stuff?" 

"why not?' jimim poked yoongi, "anyways, let's talk!"

"we're already talking."

"then, let's talk more. what year are you?"

"i'm a third year."

"oh! so you're  my hyung."

"guess so." 

jimin looked away from yoongi and stared at the mesh of gray, navy and purple. the breeze nipped at the two boy's cheeks. red surfaced at the tips of their noses. 

the rose color was quite a contrast to yoongi's pale skin, on the other hand it only looked like makeup on jimin's sun-kissed skin. "aw, hyung, you look so adorable!" the gray-haired boy placed his small hands on yoongi's face. 

"w-wha-at?" yoongi choked once again, he let out a string of incomprehensible noises. "n-no!" 

"sure, whatever you say," jimin let out a soft chuckle. "i'm a second year."

"wow, i thought you were a first year." yoongi muttered.

jimin gasped, "hey!"

"what?" yoongi put his hands up in defense, "i'm only telling the truth." 

"aish." the smaller boy flicked yoongi's ear. "ok, whatever." he inhaled deeply.

he stared back at jimin with a glare. 

in response the boy scooted over, "anyways! let's talk."

"we've already established that we're already talking."

"i'm gonna fight you, i swear." 

"you'd lose."

"no!"

"yes."

"ok, fine." jimin sighed. "what's your full name?"

"min yoongi."

"okay, i'm park jimin." the gray haired boy held his hand put for yoongi to shake.

yoongi stared at the small hand in front of him, "we've already met. we don't need to shake hands."

the younger puffed his cheeks out, "why's that matter? shake my damn hand, yoongi."

"ugh, fine." yoongi rolled his eyes and shook his hand quickly. "now what?"

"i'm 17 years old. i'm a dancer at a studio with one or my friends." 

yoongi was silent, so jimin continued, "my best friend is kim taehyung and i'm an only child. i've lived here in seoul my whole life."

"im 19." yoongi said, nothing else.

"don't be such a party pooper! tell more!" jimin huffed, crossing his arms.

yoongi let out an airy chuckle, "okay."

"anyway," jimin started to say but yoongi cut him off.

"you say that a lot."

"i get distracted a lot."

"makes sense."

"what's that mean?"

"you seem like the type of person who procrastinates, gets distracted, all that crap"

jimin sat there, his mouth agape. he was surprised by the truth of what the older had said. obviously, he'd never admit to his hyung that he was right. so, he just laughed it off and said, "what makes you think that? i'm a very responsible guy!"

"oh, really?" yoongi raised an eyebrow, of course he was skeptical. joking internally screamed. "for some reason, i just can't believe you." he shrugged.

the gray haired boy scoffed, "okay. whatever," he played it off like he didn't care and stuck his tongue out. in return yoongi rolled his eyes.

"i have to go," he said as he gathered his things. jimin didn't have enough time to reply because yoongi already bid his goodbye.

jimin turned around to return the farewell.

but,

 

yoongi was already gone.


	3. blank

im sorry hyung

____________

"kookie!" jimin squealed as he tackled the younger boy. "i missed you!"

"i missed you too." jungkook laughed softly, wrapping his arms around his best friend. "i'm sorry that i wasn't at the spot today, i didn't feel well."

"it's okay, it was just.. boring..you know? i was also kinda worried... i did meet another dude today. he was cool! he's in my grade."

"oh, that's nice." jungkook replied.

jimin was currently a first year in highschool, as jungkook was a grade below. they'd been best friends for years. it was always hard for the two with that one year they spend apart.

the black haired boy kissed the top of jungkook's head. "i'm happy for you," he said as he pulled back.

jungkook pulled jimin into a warm hug, "thank you, hyung."

the older's heart nearly exploded, a soft blush met his cheeks. "of course i'd want my best friend to be happy." he whispered, almost sadly.

"are you happy?" jungkook asked.

"what?"

"i said, are you happy?"

"of course i am," jimin may have lied on the first half of his sentence but he told the truth on the last, "i have you, don't i?"

it may be true that jungkook made jimin happy, oh, so incredibly happy. it just only hurt more that jungkook was happy to be with someone else.

"that's good to hear," the younger hummed. "i'm glad i'm doing at least something with my life."

~

"i love him! i love him, sooo much!" jungkook grabbed both of jimin's hands.

jealousy pinched the older. it surged all throughout his body.

"i never thought i could love anyone more than i love myself," jungkook continued in a whisper. "it feels amazing to love."

jimin swallowed his spit and nodded. "i bet it does," he lied. he knew very well love was actually just pain. after all, he loved someone who didn't even love him back.

what hurt the most was that he had to watch jungkook love someone else.

it had been two months, two long months that jimin had to endure. today, jungkook was planning on giving taehyung a very romantic anniversary gift that jimin could honestly care less about.

the older smile forcefully and looked down at their hands. jungkook immediately retracted his hands and spun around, "today is gonna be amazing!"

jimin tried his best to suppress the tears forming in his eyes, "i bet."

he blocked out jungkook's rant about how much he loved taehyung.

it hurt too much.

but, what taehyung and jungkook's third anniversary hurt more.


	4. Chapter 4

fake, stupid fantasies

____

the dream jimin had last night had put him in a foul mood the whole day. plus, he had to deal with schoolwork and annoying people.

the only thing that kept him from stabbing someone on the spot was the fact he spotted yoongi in the hallway.

sure enough, the black haired boy eas alone. "hyung!" jimin called out, mych to his disappointment, he was ignored.

disappointed but not surprised.

"yoongi hyung!"

now, that caught his attention, "what do you want, park jimin?"

"let's go to a cafe."

"no." yoongi closed his locker.

"why?"

"because?"

"let's gooo" jimin held his hand out for yoongi.

"will you pay?"

"yes."

"okay, let's go then." yoongi pushed past jimin and headed towards the exit.

"wait for me! sheesh." jimin ran after yoongi, "you walk so fast. what the hell?"

"you're just short."

"i'm like a centimeter shorter than you!"

"short."

"whatever," he huffed. after about 4 good, beautiful seconds of silence, he spoke, "hey."

"what."

"do you like flowers?"

yoongi blinked and looked back at jimin, "that's a weird question."

"answer the damn question."

"i've never paid attention to them, so, i don't know."

jimin hummed. "okay," he nodded.

the older found himself silent.

thats how it was for the rest of the walk; silent.


	5. Chapter 5

"love is never enough."

_______

jimin traced his finger over the rim of his yellow mug, he stared down into the cup. only, he didn't see his reflection staring back through his milky hot chocolate, he saw the unhealthy amount of whipped cream.

he looked up to yoongi and his cup, plain old coffee. jimin scrunched his nose up, gross. "i don't know how you drink that."

"you just don't appreciate the raw beauty of coffee," yoongi shrugged and sipped what jimin thought was the worst creation ever.

"i don't see any normal person eating raw chocolate."

"k."

the younger gasped, "did you just-"

"yep."

"rude. i just wanted to have a nice chat with you over... normal drinks but you're not making that possible, are you?"

"why exactly?"

"first of all you got black coffee! what kinda psycho are you? second of all you are being a meanie."

"no, i meant why did you want to chat with me? you went so far as to buy my delicious coffee." yoongi rolled his eyes.

"oh." jimin said. that's kinda awkward. "well, i just wanted to be your friend! you're always alone and i thought you could use a friend-"

the black haired boy set his mug down, "so you wanted to be my friend because you thought i don't have friends."

"uh...yeah." jimin was a bit thrown off by yoongi's tone. "w-well i mean...like, i don't know! i just wanted to be your friend so you wouldn't be lonely."

the other narrowed his eyes, "you know, i do have friends and i'm not lonely." he stood up and grabbed his bag. "i don't want to be your friend, park jimin. just go away." with a huff, he quickly exited the cafe.

-

"and that's what happened!" jimin exclaimed, he slammed his face into the oikawa body pillow that taehyung kept hidden in his closet. the gray haired boy was always the one to bring it out.

"yeah, you see, this was all a mistake." taehyung shrugged. "i honestly don't know why you're trying so hard."

jimin sniffled, "i hadn't meant to hurt his feelings. i didn't want to make him angry at me! i just wanted to befriend him. taetae, i'm really stupid."

"yeah, you are." taehyung pulled jimin into a hug. "don't worry, chim."

"he's just always alone and nobody deserves that." he hugged his best friend tightly, it was almost like he was the younger one in the room. why was he even crying?

he didn't even know yoongi.


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "there wasn't a day that went by that i didn't love you!"

 

jimin had made sure to find his way to the stairway extra quickly. he was hoping he could get there before yoongi to surprise him with an apology cupcake.

it was stupid, yeah, taehyung made sure to tell him. he couldn't quite grasp why his best friend was so against befriending yoongi but it wasn't like he'd listen.

it was definitely hotter these days, the uniform had changed as well, thankfully. it was simple, slacks and a white button up. jimin didn't seem to mind the heat as much.

in fact, he was kind of glad. he looked up at door.

"hey!" a voice called.

jimin quickly turned around. it was yoongi! although, he didn't look too happy.

"didn't i tell you to leave me alone? are you gonna start following me or something? huh, kid?"

the younger boy swallowed his spit, "u-uh hyung, i'm really sorry... i got you something to make up for what i said the other day. i really didn't mean to upset you or anything! i just thought you needed someone to talk to while you we-were at school." he bowed down, showing his truly was apologetic.

yoongi let out a short grunt and pulled his laptop closer to his chest, "eh. whatever. just, stop bugging me during lunch."

jimin looked up at yoongi, "so that means i can bother you any other time?!"

the older squinted at him.

"okay! thank you, hyung! i won't ever ever hurt your feelings ever again!" he left the cupcake box on the top step and rushed down the stairs quickly. he poked yoongi's cheek and continued his way downstairs.

that went a lot better than he thought it would.


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "isn't it fascinating?" he asked.

"hey, jimin?"

at the mention of his name, the boy looked over, "yes?" curiously, he tilted his head to the side, "hyung?"

just for a brief moment the other boy was at a loss for words. quickly, he covered it up by averting his gaze back up to the sky. "do you ever wonder?"

"well, yeah?"

"shush. i'm not finished!" he huffed. "anyways, do you ever wonder about death?"

death. that sent a sick feeling to jimin's stomach. it was heavy and felt like a disease eating him slowly from the inside. "that's an odd question, don't you think?" he laughed nervously. "death doesn't seem appealing so why wonder, right? life seems like something people should think about..."

"we know what life is like. we're living and breathing right now and that's our lives. existing. we know nothing about the other side. what is death, really? we won't ever know until our time comes and it's not like we could come back to tell it to anyone else."

"yoongi hyung, i'm not quite sure if-"

"don't you ever just want to know, jimin?"

a frown decorated jimin's face. "no, i don't. i don't like death. i hope i die when I'm really old like 92 or something!"

"wouldn't that just become suffering, then?"

"you're kinda worrying me, hyung."

"don't worry, just trying to scare you, is all." the paler boy let out a low chuckle.

if jimin wasn't respectful towards his elders he might have just called him a bitch, but, he was a good kid and made sure to always be respectful, even when the older didn't deserve it. "that's really mean of you, hyung."

a small smile played at yoongi's pink lips, "get used to it."

it was silent again. other than the clicking of the older's keyboard and the sounds of the city, it was silent. to be truthful, jimin didn't really mind. in fact, he enjoyed the 'silence' between them. it was quite comfortable.

thoughts crossed throughout jimin's head. he couldn't quite seem shake what yoongi said out of his brain and it was almost haunting.

it was still slightly cold, as it was the morning before school. through jimin's plump lips flew out a burst of white.

"class is gonna start soon, jimin." yoongi warned.

"yeah, yeah, alright. i see how it is! you just want to get rid of me, eh?" jimin stuck out his bottom lip. "meanie," he said in the poutiest voice ever to exist. "fine!" he inhaled deeply. "i'll go," he held his hand out.

"you're being dramatic." yoongi rolled his eyes.

"goodbye! forever..." jimin ran out into the school building.


	8. chapter 8

“no. it’s quite concerning, actually.”

jimin decided it would do him good to go to the park and just take some time to himself, so he did. once he arrived he immediately sat on the bench where he and yoongi first met. he sat there in a calm silence for a few minutes. once they were up he felt the perk of his ear when it picks up noise. "huh?" he said to himself, well, who else could he have said it to? 

the closer he listened, the more grunts and yelling he heard. he deducted that some sort of fight or something else that would cause excitement was going on. a bit worried, he decided to investigate the park. 

after looking around for a few minutes, jimin finally was getting closer to the noise. he could make out two figures, one pushed the other onto the bench. "h-hey! what are you doing?!" in a bout of bravery, he ran over to the two. did he really have the intentions of stopping them? he could hardly handle getting vaccines. 

"eh, jimin?" said one of them. he looked up at the gray-haired boy but he was hardly recognizable. his lip was busted and blood was running down his face from his brow. while his physical state wasn't recognizable to jimin, his voice was.

"hyung?" he gasped, horrified. he ran over quickly, too worried to think rationally of what the other male could do to him. "w-what?!" he shrieked, overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. "i need to get you home, hyung!" 

"ugh... no, i don't want to go home," yoongi said in a sluggish tone. 

suddenly, jimin's worries dissipated into a rage, "hey! did *you* do this?" 

there stood a boy with orange hair and a large frown, he looked almost equally as messed up as yoongi did. "yeah, you got a problem with that, kid?" 

in return, the smaller boy puffed out his cheeks, "as a matter of fact i do mister... whatever your name is! that doesn't matter because you hurt my friend!" 

"jimin, you're embarrassing, please stop."

"no, i will not stop, hyung!"

"hoseok, and you should really listen to yoongi over there. while you're at it you should stay away from people like us, especially people like him. you aren't going to get anywhere in life with them. this isn't really worth my time anymore, so i'm off; i hope you learned your lesson, yoongi."

jimin clenched his fists and ground his teeth, he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and willed himself not to say anything more. he just let mystery man hoseok leave. 

"go home," said yoongi. "i'll be fine." 

"then stand up."

"okay, i will." the paler boy huffed back, pushing himself up from the bench. immediately, he lost his balance and fell into jimin's arms. 

his plump lips twisted into a frown, "see? you are not fine."

"i said i'm fine.." yoongi trailed off, "see? it's all good..??" and then he passed out. 

"oh. fuck." jimin said. "what do i do? um, crap??" he sat yoongi down onto the bench and pulled out his cellphone to call taehyung. 

ring. 

ring.

"hello?"

"um... taehyung. we have an issue."

-

UH HII?? sorry for the short chapter?


	9. 9

where is he?

——————

taehyung carried the frail male on his back as jimin walked aside him riddled with anxiety. with each step, he felt as though he was closer to fainting. he bit his bottom lip and furrowed his brow, under immense frustration. the tension radiating off of the smaller was undoubtedly clear so taehyung, being the person he was, left his friends to his thoughts. 

with those thoughts, jimin was being eaten away like a termite feasting upon a wooden dinner. even harder, he dug his teeth into his plump lips. metallic flooded his senses and he realized that he had bitten just maybe a little bit too hard. he licked the dark red liquid away from sight and sucked his bottom lip. 

yes, he was completely lost in his thoughts. the thoughts that clouded his mind were just as unclear as a foggy morning. his train of thought was interrupted by his face colliding with a pole. "ow! fuck.." he rubbed his head quickly, fearing he split it.

"jeez, jimin hyung you need to pay attention!" taehyung looked at jimin with a stern look. "are you okay?" he said, this time, with a softer tone. 

"eh, yeah." he said slowly, rubbing his forehead, still. "i'm just..ugh, worried." he glanced over at yoongi who was on top of taehyung. "why would they get into a fight? ugh, just..uh..never mind we need to hurry home. we're close, he doesn't have the luxury of stopping." jimin said, emphasizing 'he' as he referred to yoongi. 

“chill, okay? he’s not going to die, hyung.” taehyung said exasperatedly. 

“uuughh, ok! i know! i know…” but deep down, jimin didn’t know. somewhere inside of him told him something was not going to go smoothly. a frown that crested his face only deepened. “let’s hurry.”

 

-

taehyung couldn’t understand why jimin was worrying so much. could it be because of past mistakes? for as long as they’ve known each other his friend seemed to be generally carefree. people change, he guessed to himself. 

he looked over to see jimin carefully dabbing a moist towelette onto yoongi’s crusted wounds. “sheesh, you care too much.” taehyung didn’t mean it though, he thought it was nice how much his friend cared. it’s a lot better than him not caring whatsoever.

jimin looked up and smiled sadly, “i have to don’t i? if i weren’t there what could have happened? isn’t fate weird?”

that made taehyung quiet, what would have happened? he furrowed his brow and frowned. let’s not think of it now.

they reached the house about 2 hours ago and immediately jimin called to tell his mother he’d be sleeping over. ever since then, he’s been carefully watching over yoongi. yes, of course taehyung was worried too but wasn’t his friend being a little bit too extra? a frown embossed his lips, “you shouldn’t have to feel so responsible for him.”

“i don’t know who else is there to care for him, though.”

that’s what shut taehyung’s mouth.


	10. not an update

ugishdiasfuabdjkifbahedjsbfiujkaewr guys im so fucking sorry for like NEVER FUCKIng UPDATING !!! but i am here to say that i am finally writing chapter 10? right now im really unhappy with what i've written so i might ahve to scrap it and restart eek

anyway this'll stay up until i actually finish the chapter  
meanwhile contact me on discord @

lyric#4620

**Author's Note:**

> :)


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